Thursday, March 16, 2023


Hey, everyone! 

So I wanted to make an update on my results from my DBS procedure this Jan/Feb. Overall, my results have been EXTRAORDINARY. For the most part 90% of my OCD, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Depression, Suicidality, & motivation issues are GONE! It's been miraculous! I feel like a brand new person and feel as though I've been reborn. 

There's been a few hiccups along the way. For 5-6 days after having my neurostimulator turned on I had A LOT of trouble sleeping. Meaning I would be up for 2-3 days on end not able to fall asleep. So my psychiatrists worked with me in coming up with a medication regimen that has helped me to sleep – as well as having a Medtronic representative come to my apartment and lower the amplitude settings on my neurostimulator to 2.5 m/a bilaterally. This helped enormously w/ my sleep and lessened my hyperactivity I was experiencing after turn-on and has helped calm me down a bit. 

Two days ago, my psychiatrist up at UW told me that he wanted me to stop taking my stimulant in the AM in order to help with my not sleeping. I was taking 10mg of Adderall short-acting daily for the past 5yrs. Stopping this cold turkey was a HUGE mistake – and I ended up developing SEVERE akathisia – which was GOD AWFUL AND MISERABLE. I finally had to take a Adderall in the afternoon to combat the akathisia – and thankfully 30-40mins after I did this I calmed back down and became normal again. 

So I had an appt with my Neurologist today and explained that to her, and also had an appt w/ my other psychiatrist down here in Portland – and we came up with a game plan to stay on the Dutch protocol – meaning staying at a steady dose of stimulation for one month + also continuing to stay on my Adderall IR in the meantime to not make things more complicated and hard to track. Also to help me not have akathisia. 

(I will do a write up about what Akathisia is here in the next few days. It's an AWFUL medical condition!) 

Overall, I'm feeling excellent! I did have a panic attack last night and that continued on this AM. This was in part because I mustered up the cojones to ask a girl out – and I started getting intrusive thoughts re/ our date plans, what my appearance would look like, how I would appear to her, if she'd like me, if I'd look like I do in my photos to her in-person, etc. So that was a bit disappointing to know that I can STILL have panic attacks. I suppose going 2 weeks w/o one kind of made me feel invincible – like I was untouchable. It was a humbling and learning experience finding out that I A, am still beating this disorder, and B, that it's still a fight every day. The girl I met is SO sweet! I talked to her on the phone this evening – and she was so accepting of my struggles/psych issues – it was just so refreshing. As in the past, I've been "ghosted" for revealing what I struggle w/. She was compassionate – and even opened up to me about some psychiatric disorders she's dealt with/deals with. 

Friends, please continue praying for me! I can use all the prayer I can get. Things are still working their way in my brain – and my brain is still getting use to the 24/7 stimulation. It will take time for my brain to adjust and find the "right" settings. This could take 5-6 months. So please pray that my doctors are able to use their knowledge and skills to best treat me, and that God will help heal me of my struggles. Also pray that things work out with this girl I'm talking to! (She is SO cool – and we really hit it off. I have GOOD feelings about it...)

Okay, thanks for reading, everyone!

Have a great weekend! 

– Mitch  

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